The Roads we Travel

 As we walk through life we travel many roads. Love, loss, change of many types. We grow and change. If we're lucky we have people around us who share our love, celebrate our successes, and support us through our grief. 

But the basic truth of life is you walk your path on your own. All of those people make it sweeter, easier, and some days possible, to make it through the day. But at the end of the day you have to have self-love to celebrate your own wins, and you bare your burdens in the darkness of night alone as well. 

I have found this year that  every person who emails me, offers a kind word, comes to spell me for a few hours, or makes my husband smile, makes my life a bit sweeter. There days these gestures reduce me to tears. Other days they make me smile. 

I am learning to live with gratitude. To take. 

I have never said yes to offers of help. I've always fashioned myself as a helper. Maybe it's a middle child thing. I don't know. But two weeks ago the lovely woman from my church called to ask if I would like meals delivered. The automatic "no thank you" that normally pops out in response to such offers changed to "I'd love some!" 

This Wednesday a delicious meal arrived at my door at 6 PM sharp. We ate dinner with no work on my part and had enough for two days of lunch! What a gift. 

There are times during the day I suddenly realize that other people in my life are largely living their normal lives. Running out to the store, taking time to read a book, planning their day around normal things. It seems strange. I could easily feel sorry for myself,  or envious. 

And then I remember the time those people have taken to prop me up. They have dropped by to visit my husband, brought us both treats, been understanding when we were late, come to spell me from caregiving, listened to my worries, sent emails and cards. 

I may be alone in the dark, everyone is. But in the light of day I am surrounded with loving people who have been there for me and my husband. Without them the nights would have been unbearable.